Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Half-Empty or Half-Full???

Honestly, I could care less about the cup, I am trying to figure out if I am half-full or half-empty (or all the way empty) !!!

I feel like a spoiled little thing even approaching the subject, but I guess my fingers won't stop typing and I am just getting it out. There are so many great things in my life, more blessings than I can even count (although it might do me some good to try). However, I just feel empty!

It started yesterday when Bert called to tell me that due to the new contract their company secured (which is a really great thing as they have had to lay off 50% of their workforce over the past year due to LACK of contracted jobs ... to see business picking up again is, well, HUGE) he will need to work as many of his days off as possible to get everything ready for this new job.

That starts to seem overwhelming to me when I consider that the last day off where he was home with the family was October 10 (they have to work 10 days on and then take 4 days off due to all the layoffs and the need to keep the support office open and available everyday), and then next one will be November 5!

That's 26 days of living with the man I love and hardly seeing him!

I'm feeling ... I don't even know what I'm feeling ... I'm hardly feeling anything ... I am just there!

I'm feeling frustrated with myself for letting this affect me. I'm feeling pathetic, as I look at the lives of many women who go without their husbands for much longer periods of time (military, medical, drillers, truck drivers, sales reps with large areas). I still get to kiss my husband good night and good morning, I still get to feel safe at night knowing he is there, I still get to chat with him a little bit on the phone during the day.

So what is my problem?

What do I need to do to not feel so alone?

I know all the answers, but I just can't seem to kick into gear and do it.

I just really like my husband and I like to see him and spend time with him and these 26 days without him seem like an eternity.

I guess I just want to pout!

So, all you wives that hardly see your husbands ... how do you do it? How do you not turn into a whiny little wench? And then, how do you do it all with kids, too?


Okay ... I think I'm done ... I will be counting my blessings tomorrow!

(oh how I really hope nobody reads this)


Julie W said...

Nooooo!!!! I say pout! It is ok to see all your blessings and still feel sad about this overwhelming news. Buck up and do your part as the wife as I am sure you are doing, but you deserve a pitty party!

Did you know thing 2 and my boy play at recess every day? They are best pals. Soo surprising!

The Gosfam said...

If you need to pout do it. I went 6 months without my hubby when he was deployed to Iraq, and before he left he was gone 2 weeks out of every month 5 mo prior for training. Now he is in school and is gone now too, and it still bugs me. Even though you think it shouldn't because I went months before, but hey we love our men. We can pout, we can whine, and maybe even be a wench everyone once in a while. We have that right when some days we are overwhelmed with the kiddos and wish our hubbies were coming home to rescue us :) Good Luck. i don't know if I really helped LOL!!

Amber said...

Bring on the pouting, whining, crying, whatever it takes to make you feel a bit better! Dan's been in school for almost 7 years and with working full time through it all, I've had my ups and downs with him being gone so much. I know other people have it worse with their hubbys being gone much more, but it is hard and it isn't a good feeling to know you've got a long stretch ahead. I always try to get some things planned out to do with the kids (library visit, pajama party night, etc.) so I still have some things to look forward to. Maybe that could help?? GOOD LUCK!!

Karlyn said...

Um, you can totally borrow Aaron for awhile, because really...he drives me nuts sometimes!!!

But really, I am so sorry, I would pout too. Because I totally understand. Aaron and I are the type of couple that get along so much better the more we are together and we actually enjoy each others company.

Hang in there.

Lara said...

It's good to be real sometimes. We have all felt this way, I guarantee.

I HATE it when I don't see my husband for long periods of time. He goes out of town for guest conducting stints and workshops a fair amount and I DREAD those times. I just need him home. I don't know how the military wives do it, either. So many of my friends do it with such grace and I'm just thankful my husband is not a soldier!

Hugs! I can't wait for November 5 for you!

I love how your music always matches your posts. :)

Amy said...

You need to plan a little weekend/night for the 2 of you so that you have something to look forward to. It really helps the time go better, you will have more patience with the kids knowing that you will have a little reward at the end...some adult time.

When Dave traveled a lot when he first started his job I found that one day at a time worked the best. I also tried to plan a few fun things that the kids I were going to do even though he was gone so that our time together was good too.

My aunt just died and she has a missionary out. My uncle talked to his son and told him to "go cry, pray, and get to work". I think that is amazing advice for everyone that is having a hard time with something. So have your cry, pray for strength, and get to work...Nov 5th will be here before you know it.

BranFlakes said...

I feel the exact same way lately, but about different things. I'm just empty. I don't know what to do. I feel negative and lonely. It really stinks. Hopefully, we will both pull out of it soon!